North Star
by glitter kitty
Summary: Remus has been receiving mysterious letters from a fellow Hogwarts 6th year...but who could she be? Ho-Hum...ponder ponder Why don't you read on & find out?
1. North Star

(¯`'·.¸(¯`'·.¸¸.·'´¯)¸.·'´¯) ---- North Star ---- (_¸.·'´(_¸.·'´`'·.¸_)`'·.¸_)  
  
an: This was written over two years ago, and I'd lost interest in it until I finished OotP (damn, that's a good book!!!). Anyway, I fixed some spelling mistakes, but that's about it. I didn't know there was already a 'Bella' until I read OotP, so I obviously don't mean her to be the same one. There are of course a few little details that aren't quite right, but only those that I made before reading OotP. Anyway, enjoy!  
  
(¯`'·.¸(¯`'·.¸¸.·'´¯)¸.·'´¯) ---- Chapter One ---- (_¸.·'´(_¸.·'´`'·.¸_)`'·.¸_)  
  
Across the lake a light autumn breeze blew, making the glassy surface ripple gently. The new moon's reflection distorted flimsily with each tiny wave. Remus turned his face towards the large silver globe and smiled. Ever its terror inflicting moonbeams could not distract his mind tonight, for tonight he was meeting the girl who had entrapped his heart beyond even his own wildest dreams.  
  
Love....Remus had never imagined such an overwhelming emotion could ever exist between two human beings. It was hard for him to keep a relationship with his curse and the stigma that surrounded it. He'd had a few girlfriends, but they'd never lasted longer than a few months. The full moon made sure of that. But now...now none of that mattered.  
  
He glanced at his watch - the woman he wanted to spend the rest of his life with would be before him in just a few more minutes. He had almost given up hope of ever finding a soul mate. Soul mate. Even thinking the words made goose bumps run down his spine.  
  
"She has this affect on me and I don't even know who she is yet..." he thought meekly. He was used to having no control over his formations, but he'd always managed to keep his emotions under his control. But now...now he wasn't sure what was happening, though, quite frankly, he didn't give a damn. He'd never known such a feeling of ecstasy in his entire life, and he wasn't going to let go because of some childish fears. He was 16 now, and old enough to know when he was being silly and when it was real.  
  
His hand ran over the smooth boulder upon which he sat, his mind racing over who the mystery girl could be. He wondered if it was one of Lily's friends - they often hung around with his gang when Lily and James were together. And they were *always* together. He hoped it was Jennie, he loved her playful eyes and quick wit, though Alice was sweet with a cute smile. Then again, for all he knew, she could be some Slytherin twit, or some idiot playing a horrible tick on him...  
  
No. The letter's he'd been replying to over the last few months had been genuine. He knew that much. And that she was in his year level, even in some of his classes because she'd once congratulated him on a Defence Against the Dark Arts test result...but he'd topped the class and figured any house could have found out about that.  
  
He'd try to figure it out who the mysterious writer was by the delivery owls, but there had to be a hundred school owls with the same mottled-brown feathers that it was impossible to trace. Although the owls had made him almost sure it was one of Lily's friends, as she'd often receive strange notes she'd never let anyone see, too. He shuddered to think if this girl had been passing on the notes to Lil...he'd exposed some of his deepest secrets to this person, things he'd never want another soul to know. For some strange reason he felt comfortable with this person, and writing down his darkest thoughts for this girl to read seemed to come like a second nature. He wrote to her about being a werewolf, his happiness with the marauders, and how he feared what the rest of the school thought of him. She'd told him not to worry, that the people who mattered most would never leave his side, as she never would. He'd laughed at that one - for all he knew she'd never been by his side. Physically, anyway. But never the less, she'd helped him through some of the toughest times of his life, and, he hoped, he'd done the same.  
  
North Star, as she'd mysteriously signed her letters, had been going through troubles of her own. She said she could never tell her friends about how much it really did hurt to be teased about her muggle upbringing, or how she felt she had to live up to every witch and wizard's expectations to fit into the magical world. While the fact that she was muggle-born may have helped him normally, there was an abnormally large number of muggle- born girls in his year that this was as helpful as knowing her hair colour.  
  
But figuring out the clues didn't really matter that much to him. It seemed they both had trouble fitting in, and would often exchange tear-stained parchments. But those times had now come to an end. In her last letter she'd told him she wanted to reveal her true identity. He still remembered her exact words..."I think I'm falling in love with you, Remus. Please don't be mad. We need to meet. I will be at the lake tonight at 9, please be there" Heh. He'd laughed at that one, too. Why would he ever be mad when the girl shared his feelings?  
  
After receiving the letter at breakfast he'd been nervous. Really nervous. He guessed it showed, because both James and Sirius had asked what was wrong. He just told them he'd had a bad transformation last full moon, and neither pressed on. He never told them about the letters, making excuses every time he untied a parchment from the school owl's leg. Maybe one day he'd tell them, but not today, not when he was so close to finding out who his enchanting girl was.  
  
It was around lunch time when the flip-flops in his stomach had subsided and excitement had set in. Finally...finally after all these months he'd be meeting her. HER...his wondrous quill-friendly girl. At dinner he'd decided he didn't even care if she *was* a slytherin - her letters had been a radiant star in his often dark sky. Her letters meant more than any house or class boundary. His eyes darted up to the huge black sky above, as he absent-mindedly searched for the brightest sparkle...  
  
"Searching for the North Star?" a silky voice whispered from behind him. He jumped and swung around, but instead of his mysterious letter writer his best friend's girlfriend stood before him.  
  
"Don't do that, Lily - you scared me."  
  
"Sorry, Remmy" she whispered sheepishly, sitting down beside him. As she did the impact of her words hit him...hard.  
  
"Um...Lil, what did you mean by "North Star"?  
  
"Exactly that." He tried to read her mischievous smile, but failed once again. He'd known the girl since his first year, but she had a thousand smiles and every single one had a different meaning, though he was sure he'd never seen this one before.  
  
"What - You know about the letters?" Her smile lingered, her lips didn't move. "Lily, don't be cruel - if you know who she is, you have to tell me!"  
  
Her smile faulted, and her cheeks turned a deep red. Remus's heart skipped a beat, and his whole body seemed to be a big blob of jelly. She wasn't...she didn't mean...she couldn't be...  
  
"Remus," Lily began, before she paused again, as if trying to find the right words. Her piercing green eyes locked with his deep blue ones and his heart was beating faster, he was sure, than it had in his entire life. He didn't know if he wanted her to continue or not, scared of what she might say, but before she had a chance to continue Remus leant forward and gently kissed her.  
  
To be continued...  
  
an: Ouuuu! ahhhhhh! It just prooves that you can't fight the moonlight! I know that's so clique, but I couldn't help myself. The phrase, not he story (Actually, I don't think I've ever read another rem-lil fic...). Anyway, I hope you enjoyed, and sorry again for all the mistakes!!! If you'd like to see the next part let me know & I'll write it for ya! :) 


	2. What was that for!

(¯`'·.¸(¯`'·.¸¸.·'´¯)¸.·'´¯) ---- North Star ---- (_¸.·'´(_¸.·'´`'·.¸_)`'·.¸_)  
  
An: Edited chapter two! Chapter Three coming soon!  
  
(¯`'·.¸(¯`'·.¸¸.·'´¯)¸.·'´¯) ---- Chapter Two ---- (_¸.·'´(_¸.·'´`'·.¸_)`'·.¸_)  
  
Lily stumbled back, more than a little shocked.  
  
"Wha.what was that for?" She murmured quietly.  
  
Remus's mouth fell open. What was that for? WHAT WAS THAT FOR? For a moment they both stared in silence, before a thought came.  
  
"You're not North Star are you?"  
  
She slowly shook her head, and Remus felt his face grow hot. Whether it was from embarrassment for the impulsive kiss, or anger that North Star had told another of their letters, he didn't know. Maybe it was a little of both, but either way he didn't want to stick around to find out. Shoving his cold hands into his cloak he turned for the castle.  
  
"Remus, wait!," Lily blurted out in a rush, "I...I didn't mean to make you think I was her. I'm sorry. I don't even know what's going on, she refused to tell me. She just told me a minute ago that someone would be here, waiting for a North Star, and she didn't want him to think she wasn't coming. She got a detention in her last class, and couldn't come."  
  
Remus froze, every inch of his body went numb, then tingly. Did he dare to think it,  
  
"Her last class...was it potions?"  
  
Lily gulped. "Um...I'm not sure. She said I'm not to tell you who she is."  
  
Remus rounded on her, bringing himself to his full height. "I'm serious, Lils, are you talking about Bella?"  
  
Her muscles visually tensed, and her eyes refused to meet his.  
  
"Maybe."  
  
A guilty smile appeared on her face, as if she couldn't hold the secret a moment longer. Her eyes finally met his and he knew. He knew that he would not find his beloved star out here, under the heavens because Bella was in detention.  
  
* * *  
  
"But he kissed me."  
  
Bella warily shrugged for the tenth time that day.  
  
"So what? It was meant for me, I don't see what the big deal is. It was just a misunderstanding. He doesn't even know you were with James."  
  
"I guess, but..."  
  
"No buts! No more buts, I can't take another but. He meant to kiss North Star, not you, it was an honest mistake. And besides, if you bring James into this who knows what will happen? James might end up angry with the both of you, when there's no point."  
  
"No point in what?" Sirius asked, rambling up beside them, "Because if you're talking about asking me to the Halloween dance, then you're right - there's no point. I already have a date."  
  
Bella felt her eyes widen, and her heart jumped in excitement. "Halloween Ball? When?"  
  
"Going on a whim, I'd say...um...around Halloween," Sirius said, trying to suppress the laughter that was shaking Lily, "And they try telling us you're one of top wizards in seventh year."  
  
She decided against her first impulse to hex Sirius right there, she didn't want to get another week of cauldron scrubbing detention.  
  
"No, I mean is it before we leave for vacation? Please tell me it's on before vacation! I have to go home - it's my little sister's eleventh birthday and I just can't miss seeing her owl."  
  
"Sorry, Bella. Hogwarts Express leaves on the 30th, this is only for those who stay behind. Why can't you just stay here for vacation? Owls aren't as exciting as a ball."  
  
"I can't, her birthday's the day after Halloween. The only way I could make it back on time was if I apparated..."  
  
Lily and Sirius smirked, sharing a knowing look.  
  
"If learning to apparate is anything like your first time on a broom, I wouldn't suggest you try it," Lily said, again failing miserably to suppress a laugh. For the second time in as many minutes Bella decided against hexing a friend. It had taken her a while to master the broom, she'd never tried it before coming to Hogwarts - she was terrified of heights. And just to add to that fear, her first time on a broom saw her thrown off, ten feet off the ground. Her friends had all found it highly amusing, especially Lily, who took to flying easily despite being from a muggle upbringing.  
  
"Of course I wasn't going to try it. Besides, it's illegal."  
  
"Since when has that stopped us?"  
  
Ignoring Sirius, she continued, "I guess I'll just have to miss the ball..."  
  
"But this will be out last Halloween Ball," Lily whined, "Remus will be so disappointed!"  
  
Sirius let out a choking noise, "I knew it! It had to be you, the way he's been all grinny and blushy and...damn, not another couple. Seeing James all lovesick is bad enough, but now knowing Remmy is, too..."  
  
"Oh, shush," Lily cut in, "I do recall you saying something about a Halloween Ball date...now tell us who she is before I turn you into a toad."  
  
* * *  
  
"But Lils will be so disappointed!" Remus burst out when James told him the news.  
  
"I know, she didn't want me to go home these holidays as it is, and now with the ball...she'll probably lock me up in her trunk until the Hogwarts Express has departed."  
  
Remus grinned. "Wouldn't doubt it."  
  
A familiar pang of guilt tainted the young wizard's grin. The same guilt that sometimes arose when his lips met Bella's. It had been over a month since he'd kissed Lily, but he couldn't forgive himself. He knew it was silly to beat himself up over it - it had just been a misunderstanding, after all. Though it wasn't so much the kiss that had bothered him, more the fact that he couldn't stop thinking about it. Even now, when he had an odd minute to himself, usually just before he turned during that time of the month, when his thoughts would call to pleasant things to ease the suffering that was to follow, he would remember that cold night, by the lake when he knew he was kissing Lily more than North Star. Lily. He didn't want her exactly - she was his best friend's girlfriend after all, not to mention his girlfriend's best friend, but there was just something about that kiss. Something that he hadn't experienced before, and hadn't since, not even in those secret moments with Bella, hidden away in deserted classrooms or on an empty balcony. Not that he didn't enjoy those moments - he cared for Bella very much, but sometimes he found that it wasn't her he longed for, but for the girl he knew he'd never have.  
  
"There's no way I can get out of Great-Grandpa's 190th birthday, he'd be devastated. I'm his favourite great-grandson, and Mum's been planning a huge party," informed James, "Even if I did miss the Hogwarts Express I'm sure she'd come here herself to collect me."  
  
The two sat in silence for a moment, staring at the flames dancing in the common room fireplace. Remus hated to admit it, but the main reason he found himself so worried about James's upcoming absence was because he often used his friend to keep himself, and his thoughts about Lily, in line.  
  
"Why don't you invite her with you?"  
  
James sighed. "No, her parents won't let her - she asked them last holidays. I guess I'll just have to leave her in your care. You can keep each other company with your stories of heartache."  
  
"Yeah," Remus chuckled hollowly - he'd almost forgotten Bella would also be gone, "Misery loves company." 


End file.
